Bloom Where You Are Planted

Reading Time: 5 minutes

The phrase “bloom where you are planted” is often attributed to Mary Engelbreit, an American artist and illustrator known for her whimsical and inspirational designs. It’s a phrase I have taken to heart, as I have spent the better part of my adult years bouncing around to different cities in Colorado, South Carolina, and France. 

Each move was like starting over from scratch. It is scary and exhilarating at the same time. I used to tell my mom while I was in undergrad, “It’s not what you know. It’s who you know.” Then I went off and moved across the country to a city where I knew no one. The irony is not lost on me.

“Bloom where you are planted” is a phrase that encourages us to make the best of our current circumstances or surroundings. It means we should strive to thrive and grow no matter the situation. Just like a flower that pushes through the dirt to catch some sunlight, we should also find ways to shine and make the most of our life. Or like a plant trying to survive in the Shane household. Blooming where you’re planted is about having a resilient attitude and saying, “Alright, this is where I am. Let’s make it work!” 

To be honest, it has taken me an entire year to get into this mindset. And to write a blog post about moving back to the United States from France. Writing a post would be admitting our expat adventure is officially over. Gone are the days of trips to a new city each weekend, experiencing new cultures, customs, and cuisines. Hello suburbia. And driving cars again. And sidewalks that just end and don’t take you anywhere. 

Different blogs and resources prepped me for how difficult it would be to move abroad. Honestly, looking back, that was the easy part. Driven by anticipation and excitement, it was easy to let that adrenaline push me forward. What no one mentions (or maybe they do, and I didn’t listen) is how hard it is to move back “home” once the expat assignment ends. 

The expat experience was such a significant part of my life. When it ended, I felt like I lost a part of my identity. It was hard for the first few months when people would ask, “Are you excited to be back?” and I would respond, “Ask me again later.”

I ask Jordan every once in a while the same question. His response is more diplomatic, “there are pros and cons.” He’s right, like he normally is. It wasn’t until around November, almost eleven months later, that I finally said out loud, “I am happy to be back home.” 

Don’t get me wrong. We are thrilled to be back home near family and friends. We recognize it is significantly easier in our new stage of life (hello, parenthood!) to be in the States. But I still missed our “old life” for the better part of the year. 

I’m not big on “New Year’s Resolutions,” but my commitment for 2024 is to get back to the “bloom where you are planted” mindset. And maybe, I will get around to putting more than the single painting of Lyon on the walls in our home. If it can help anyone else, whether other expats repatriating or simply anyone who needs the reminder, here are some ideas on how to bloom where you are planted.

HAVE A POSITIVE MINDSET

The most important thing is to have a positive mindset. Maintaining a positive outlook is like having a secret weapon in the arsenal of life. Focus on the good things around you instead of getting stuck on what’s not going well. It’s all about training your mind to focus on the silver linings, even when the clouds seem overwhelmingly gray. I always try to find a silver lining in every situation. 

One effective strategy to bloom where you are planted is to practice gratitude daily and focus on positive intent. Acknowledging the good things, no matter how small, can help shift your perspective into the positive mindset. I try to say every day, “I am so thankful to be M’s mom.” 

When challenges ultimately arise, reframe them as opportunities for growth. This helps keep the negative thoughts at bay. Try to see setbacks as temporary detours and not dead ends. At work, I try to avoid the word “issue” and replace it with “opportunity” instead. It feels silly at the time, but words really matter. I’ve also used the terminology “don’t be afraid to fail forward”. Essentially, don’t be afraid to try something even if you may fail.

Surround yourself with positivity is another game-changer. Find inspiring books, have good conversations with friends, and surround yourself with others who also radiate positivity.

And the most important thing, don’t be afraid to say goodbye to toxic friendships. I had a friend who I adored, but this person constantly lived in the negative headspace. No matter what I did or said, nothing would get this person to have a positive outlook on anything. For me, it was best to step away.

Finally, embrace humor and find the lighter side of situations. Sometimes, it is just easier to laugh.  

GROW A SUPPORTIVE NETWORK

Another way to bloom where you are planted is to develop strong relationships. This is way easier said than done, as no one tells you how difficult it is to make friends as an adult. You can’t go to someone as an adult and say, “I like your shoes. Let’s be best friends.” Or maybe you can, I don’t know. 

When I lived in Colorado, I joined recreational sports leagues (I am a Denver dodgeball champion!) to make friends. Having friends who had similar interests to me made it easy to take advantage of all Colorado had to offer.  

When I lived in France, I found another American who lived in Lyon and was my age on Instagram. I sent her a message and asked her to be my friend. Thankfully, she was not creeped out. She is wonderful! 

However you do it, find a circle of people who motivate and inspire you. Ultimately, a supportive friendship network becomes an invaluable anchor, providing comfort, laughter, and strength as you navigate the highs and lows of life’s rollercoaster.

CELEBRATE SUCCESSES

Think about where you are today and where you want to be, then set goals. These goals don’t have to be anything major, but instead smaller steps that lead you towards where you want to be. Once you hit these milestones, it’s important to celebrate your successes. I am going to celebrate writing this long-overdue blog post, and hopefully set some goals to write more about our experiences. There are so many more stories to be shared.

Celebrating your successes, no matter how big or small, can help motivate you to keep going. And in one year, you can look back and see how far you have come!

STAY IN THE PRESENT

While I spent the better half of the year missing France, I know how important it is to stay in the present. Fully engage in conversations and relationships (it’s ok to put the phone down or let go of other distractions). 

Accept the current situation you are in and find ways to cultivate gratitude. You may not love the situation, but if you can’t change it, you may as well accept it and make the best out of it! Acknowledge and appreciate the positive aspects of your life. I try to think of what I’m thankful for each week, even if it is as small as being thankful to live in a place where I can buy delicious chicken salad again.

Another way to stay in the present is to embrace spontaneity and be open to new experiences. At work, I always say, “change is the only constant.” One of my personal and professional goals this year is to say “yes” to new opportunities, no matter how uncomfortable it makes me. This is the space where growth happens!

GIVE COMPLIMENTS

Finally, authentically give compliments. The world could use a little more kindness, so don’t be afraid to tell someone you love their shoes, outfit, hair, etc. Who knows, you may find your new best friend after all. I find that giving genuine compliments helps me stay focused on the present, appreciate where I am, and stay in the positive mindset. And it feels good to help people feel good about themselves.

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Hopefully these tips will help you refocus to make the best of where you are and to grow into your best self.

Thanks for reading, and Happy New Year!